Disney is God

You know how it feels to have a great week? A happy-go-lucky, bright eyes, huge smile, jump-in-your-step sort of experience? Have you ever lived through seven days of absolute bliss?

Ok now multiply how you felt by a bajillion. THAT’s the sort of week Disney had.

Check out how they killed on the charts:

Billboard Album Sales

1. High School Musical 2 (613k sold) – BIGGEST DEBUT FOR TV MOVIE EVER
2. Hannah Montana 2- Meet Miley (82K sold)
8. Jonas Brothers (41K sold)
16. High School Musical (31K sold)
29. Plain White T’s (22k sold)

Nielsen Television Ratings

1. High School Musical 2 (17.2 million)- HIGHEST CABLE MOVIE EVER
2. Phineas & Ferb (10.8 million viewers)
4. Hannah Montana (10.7 million viewers) HIGHEST CABLE EPISODE EVER

Billboard Hot 100 Singles

4. Plain White T’s – Hey There Delilah
17. Jonas Brothers – S.O.S
33. High School Music 2- What Time Is It?
38. Zac Efron & Vanessa Anne Hudgens (HSM 2)- You Are the Music In Me

In completely, utterly and absolutely unrrelated news, Hannah Montana  had a cameo in High School Musical 2 and the Jonas Brothers appeared on the episode of Hannah Montana airing after the movie’s television premiere.

I think the title says it all.

Not to rain on your parade…

No Perez, “Umbrella” is NOT the song of the summer.

Hey TMZ, when you call it the undisputed summer song of 2007  you’re wrong.

Jeeez

For informational purposes, I’ve provided you with  a short list of 2007 Hot 100 #1 songs that are better (and why):

• “Irreplaceable” Beyonce (addicting, but not irritating)
• “What goes around… Comes around” Justin Timberlake (deliciously spiteful)
• “Say It Right” Nelly Furtado (cool as hell)
• “This is Why I’m Hot” MIMS (simplistic yet true message)
• “Glamorous” Ferge (fabulous and fun)
• “Give it to me” Timbaland (turns my car into a dance hall EVERY TIME)
• “Makes Me Wonder” Maroon 5 (so singable)
• “Hey There Delilah” Plain White T’s (lovely and real)

However it is not the worst song either, “Umbrella” is better than the following 2007 number #1s:

• “Don’t Matter” Akon (blahhh)
• “Girlfriend” Avril (Avril sucks, duh)
• “Buy U a Drank” T-pain (At least Rihanna can spell…)
• “Beautiful Girls” Sean Kingston (RUINED sample of “Stand by Me”)

So from my count it comes in as the 9th “best” song of the year……

And Perez, in my opinion the real song of the summer hasn’t even hit #1 yet:

(no surprise here)

1. “The Way I Are” Timbaland (incredible – incredible – incredible)

 Did I mention it’s INCREDIBLE? (Check out the FRENCH remix!)

1 Point World, 0 Points Rihanna

It’s amazing we even get out of bed anymore.   Every morning it’s the same; more death, more destruction, more hurting. Among this perma-chaos I’m proud to share some good news, hell, great news! I think it’s obvious what I’m getting at….

Rihanna’s “Umbrella” reign has finally ended. AKA, The world is a better place.

Two weeks ago Rihanna finally lost the US top-spot to the indie-fab Plain White T’s’ “Hey there Delilah,” but it wasn’t until last week that this uber-diva  fell from her 10-week rule atop europop heaven, the United Kingdom. Unfortunately her tiresome single held the pole-position long enough to set the UK singles record for the 21st century. I take comfort only in the fact that she’s always holding some kind of pole.

It’s no secret that I openly detest her. She’s a skanky ho with no musical originality or taste. Case in point, that porn video excuse for a performance at the VMAs. Beyonce called, she wants her style back…. and while you’re at it, her boyfriend too.  

Replacing “Umbrella”  in the UK this week is Timbaland’s genius, “Way I Are,” featuring Keri Hilson. Now that electro-pop-licious piece of music-gold deserves #1. The beat is sick and the lyrics are actually words.  Little known fact: “Ella Ella Ella, eh eh ehhh” is NOT english.

It’s also worthy noting that Timbo is less skanky than Rihanna, but really, who isn’t?

Rihanna or rehab? Check me in to Betty Ford!